I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
