Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
