I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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