You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
