I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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