oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Randomize
