She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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