I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Duck Duck Cougar?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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