Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
