when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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