so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize