Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
