He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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