how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
