Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
