I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
