I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
