she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
