I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
