So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
