Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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