new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
