actually, I'm a sock model
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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