did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
