I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
