You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
