Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
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