The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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