I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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