At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
