he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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