hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
