I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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