oh god the rape fog is back!
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just had sex on a roof
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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