3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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