They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
