I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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