i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
