weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
