Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
