i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
That reminds me...we need to get swords
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
