Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
We named our party play list daddy issues
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
porn star boner night. come get it.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
