So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
