I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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