please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
