just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
