whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
