bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
he shaved USA in his pubs
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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