hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
