I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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