I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
