I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
