What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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