i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I'm passing your future prison.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Everyone says I win the strip club
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
