Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Randomize
