I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So squirting runs in the family.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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