just tell him i said nine months
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
