ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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