i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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